Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Ch-ch-ch-changes

1. Breasts. I knew they were supposed to get bigger, but I wasn't prepared for this. I have jumped two cup sizes and in profile look like a two-humped camel with my belly. I know some women welcome the size change, but I'm 5'3" and boobies this size make me feel like one of those Paleolithic fertility goddess statues. And nobody tells you that your nipples get bigger too. How does that work? I thought that was sort of a defined territory. Like elbows and fingertips. Oh, and they change color. From a nice rosy, pretty pink, to a ruddy sort of brownish pink.

2. Mucous. My nose seems to be much leakier these days and I've had a few minor nosebleeds. The Doctor says all mucous membranes are in flux with the hormones right now, so anything that can be lubricated is being lubricated. Including my vajayjay. After the whole implantation bleeding episode, I had a hard time getting used to this development but it seems to be part of the entire process and while annoying, certainly manageable.

3. Sex. See above, but when you're consistently lubricated and most of the blood you produce is gathering in that area, it's like being in a constant state of arousal. Really wonderful if you have a cooperative partner, really unfulfilling if you have a paranoid, neurotic, safety-obsessed husband who probably doesn't find your large brown nipples too exciting anyway.

4. Skin and Hair. This is where it starts to get good. My skin is spectacular right now. I haven't had a breakout or blemish in months and I really do see a different tone to my skin. A pretty, healthy glow that wasn't there before. And my hair which has always been on the fine side, is thick and shiny and full. I feel like a Pantene commercial when I brush my hair in the morning. Of course, all of my girlfriends tell me this is a short-lived luxury and all of that extra hair will fall out in clumps after the baby comes. Will report back on this, but I'm loving it for now.

5. Vertigo. Apparently with all of this extra blood in the network, standing and sitting can cause a bit of the dizzies as all of the blood rushes to reconfigure itself to my feet and head when I change position. So when I stand up, I often get really lightheaded and have to dive my head between my knees to keep from passing out. Not an issue at all at home, but rather funny in a restaurant, parking lot, or some other public place.

6. Gas and Kicks. I mentioned in a past blog about how excited I was for Justin to feel the baby kick. It's such an alien, funny feeling and reassures me that the baby is rocking and rolling in there. So one night about a week ago, I grabbed his hand and put it on my belly, because she was really popping around. He kept his hand there for a minute or two and felt her movements and then took his hand off and turned over to sleep. Really disappointed that he wasn't as thrilled with this new experience as I was, I kept after him, asking "Did you feel it? Isn't it cool? What do you think?" He said, "It feels like you have an upset stomach. It feels like you have gas." I married him for the romance, you know. He's loaded with it.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Sometimes....

...I forget I am pregnant and catch a glimpse of myself as I pass by a mirror. I have a split second of 'Oh, god, I have really gotten heavy this year" before I remember again.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Little Kicks Inside Her

I am now quite sure that what I thought was gas is actually B the G squirming around in there. And I get a free pass on mistaking it for gas because while everybody tells you about nausea and being tired when you are pregnant, nobody tells you that you will pass gas like your fat uncle after a chili cheese steak.

I know some people are just naturally more gassy than others, but this has never been a particular affliction of mine. So the subsequent arrival of wind with my pregnancy has been a double whammy if you will. I am constantly surprised by it. And it's not the kind you can blame on the dog because it follows you as you walk, - whomp, whomp, whomp - coming out with every step you take like your own little marching band.

I find it rather hilarious. Justin, however, is one of the few people in the world who don't think farts are funny. He prefers to ignore them when they happen to him and acts absolutely astounded that they could actually come out of me. Which makes it even funnier.

So when the kicks started, I naturally assumed it's more gas roiling around in there as my guts make room for baby. But in the past week or two, I've gotten plenty of taps and pops that usually mean gas, but then - nothing. And now they have started coming in adorable little rhythms in one area of my belly that certainly have never happened with plain ordinary gas. Pink Floyd's The Great Gig In the Sky came on the radio yesterday and B the G moved around wildly throughout the entire song. Can she hear now too?

I love to feel it and only wish Justin could experience it too, but right now, it's only internal. He'll have to be content with my existing external symptoms for a little while longer. Cue John Philip Sousa!