I hate to be so "it's all about me" right now. I know he's in a lot of pain with a possible diagnosis of a herniated disc. But I am in a bit of a panic about a) physically getting to the hospital when labor starts, b) having to listen to Justin moan about his back and when it's time to take his pill while I am contracting, c) going through labor and delivery with no moral/emotional support from my drug-induced husband and d) homeward bound with a crippled husband and fragile newborn to contend with while my bottom is still healing and I'm on no sleep. Ok, I very much am all about me right now. I make no apologies.
My sister is on call to jump in the car at the first contraction and my neighbor offered to drive us to the hospital should we need her. But I might be on my own for a bit with the whole waiting game of cervical dilation. I think I can do it though. I've plowed through so much on my way to this moment. I just have to channel my inner Wonder Wheel and keep up a steady dialogue with B the G. Since the dry run at the hospital with my tumble down the steps, I feel pretty confident that I'll have a great team there helping me out.
I just got a pedicure and will get one once a week from here on out so I can at least look at my toes with pleasure. The rest of me is pretty much hilarious at this point. My belly looks prosthetic to me. Like I should just be able to unhook it in the back and remove, it is so round and taut. Some say these bellies are gorgeous and while that is not the word I would use, I do find mine vastly entertaining to look at. Foreign and funny at the same time. My belly button has timidly popped outward, giving up the fight of remaining inward under all that pressure. And blue veins lace all across the surface, always there before, but in stark relief now because of my fair skin and stretched abdomen. Like I said, I'm fascinated. It's like a freak show kind of vanity.
No comments:
Post a Comment